Aging With Humor Gifts

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

Make Love Handles Not War

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Birthday To-Do List

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"There ain't enough room in this here town for two arthritics, stranger..."

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

'You are always living in the past!'

"He's at that funny age. It takes twice as long to get over a good time, as to have it."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"How do you know my wish didn't come true."

"It's the Florida kid."

Old Darth Vader

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

Mountain has tunnel called Carpal Tunnel.

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

Now showing: Retirement Village Vixens, You must be 65.

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."