Aging Humor Lover Gifts

How Fatherhood Affects Belt Height: Father/Grandfather/Great Grandfather.

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

You can't get what up

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

Birthday To-Do List

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

'Did someone say something?'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

Old man has a walking stick case.

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'You are always living in the past!'

'Face it, Frank - After 40 we all need glasses.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"He's at that funny age. It takes twice as long to get over a good time, as to have it."

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

"How do you know my wish didn't come true."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"It's the Florida kid."

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

Now showing: Retirement Village Vixens, You must be 65.

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.