Middle-aged Humor Lover Gifts

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"Why bother?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

Birthday To-Do List

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'Did someone say something?'

Old man has a walking stick case.

'Dang.'

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

'You are always living in the past!'

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"It's the Florida kid."

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

birthday meets reality

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"This is Norman - eighty-seven and never a mid-life crisis in his life."

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

Live: Middle Aged Men

How Fatherhood Affects Belt Height: Father/Grandfather/Great Grandfather.

"I recently went wireless."