Middle-aged Humor Gifts

'Dang.'

Middle-Age Superheroes

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

Classic Movie Remakes (for people your age)

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

Same Sexless Marriage

"It's the Florida kid."

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

You know you're getting older when there are more candles on your cake than calories in it!

birthday meets reality

Live: Middle Aged Men