Middle Age Jokester Gifts

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Middle-Age Superheroes

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Men dancing

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

Classic Movie Remakes (for people your age)

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

'Dang.'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

Same Sexless Marriage

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

'Yes, it is a 'wonderful discovery'. But whatever you do, don't touch it!'

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'