Middle Age Jokester Gifts

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

Men dancing

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

'Dang.'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

Same Sexless Marriage

'Yes, it is a 'wonderful discovery'. But whatever you do, don't touch it!'

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

"With the right training an enterprising young man like yourself could do well in white-collar crime."

'Remind me again. . . who's chasing who?'