Age-defying Jokester Gifts

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Men dancing

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"Hey. When I want your help, I'll ask for it."

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'How can you tell?'

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

"I'm starting to look old."

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

Still Alive

'To absent teeth.'

"You realise, in cosmological years, we're not very old at all."

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

Nancy Pelosi Gets a Speakership By Agreeing to Just Four More Years. How Many Years Does She Have Anyway?

This Sleigh Carries No Recalled Chinese Toys.

"Pushing sixty isn't the problem - it's pulling fifty-nine."

"Have you seen my sticks?"