Age-defying Jokester Pillows

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Men dancing

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"Hey. When I want your help, I'll ask for it."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

'How can you tell?'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

"I'm starting to look old."

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

Still Alive

'To absent teeth.'

This Sleigh Carries No Recalled Chinese Toys.

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"Pushing sixty isn't the problem - it's pulling fifty-nine."

'I used to be an old fogey, but now I'm post-modern!'