Age-defying Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Nancy Pelosi Gets a Speakership By Agreeing to Just Four More Years. How Many Years Does She Have Anyway?

"Why bother?"

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Birthday To-Do List

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

She IS a raisin

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

Pregnant vs. Old.

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"It's the Florida kid."

'Humans age the same way we do, every year is equal to seven years. I know this because Timmy has had a family birthday party, an extended family birthday party, a friend birthday party...

"I'm starting to look old."

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

'When I was your age I was five and a hlaf years old.'

"You realise, in cosmological years, we're not very old at all."

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

"Kick me"

'To absent teeth.'

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"Pushing sixty isn't the problem - it's pulling fifty-nine."

How Fatherhood Affects Belt Height: Father/Grandfather/Great Grandfather.

'I used to be an old fogey, but now I'm post-modern!'

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'

"Sorry, we're looking for someone younger. Someone who needs to pull a phone out of a pocket to tell the time."

Teenaged boy: -Too old to be a teddy bear. -Too young to be a wolf.

"Who knew they had interns in the Hoover administration."