Age-defying Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Why bother?"

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Birthday To-Do List

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

Pregnant vs. Old.

"It's the Florida kid."

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"I'm starting to look old."

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'To absent teeth.'

"Kick me"

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

'When I was your age I was five and a hlaf years old.'

"Pushing sixty isn't the problem - it's pulling fifty-nine."

'I used to be an old fogey, but now I'm post-modern!'

"Who knew they had interns in the Hoover administration."

"Sorry, we're looking for someone younger. Someone who needs to pull a phone out of a pocket to tell the time."

Teenaged boy: -Too old to be a teddy bear. -Too young to be a wolf.

'The stylist got our instructions mixed up.'