Aging Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"Why bother?"

'It's sad when the elbows begin to go.'

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

You can't get what up

Birthday To-Do List

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"How's your memory?"

'You are always living in the past!'

'It's my prostate.'

You know you're getting old...when your mobile phone rings and you start taking photographs of your ear.

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"It's the Florida kid."

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."