Age-defying Humorists Pillows

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'I'd say you're a little late...'

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"I feel like a newborn. No hair, no teeth, no bladder control."

Gender Reveal

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'I don't know which will come first.. retirement or draft?'

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

"I'm sorry, but he only has 75 years to live!"

"He's at that funny age. It takes twice as long to get over a good time, as to have it."

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"I'm starting to look old."

"How do you know my wish didn't come true."

Rodin's Generation Gap

'Humans age the same way we do, every year is equal to seven years. I know this because Timmy has had a family birthday party, an extended family birthday party, a friend birthday party...

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

'Aaaaaaaaaah forty seven. What a lovely age.'

"You realise, in cosmological years, we're not very old at all."

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

'To absent teeth.'

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"Gosh Grandma, you must be over a million in dog years."