Age-defying Comedienne Pillows

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Another day at work would be one too many...

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Rap music

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Toy plane with pilot eject.

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

A private jet takes off

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Exit Next Left

'Well, if nothing else, Brad, your wine selection does prove you have a sense of humor.'

'Shall we bother with the sweet, chubby-chops?'

'That's funny, everybody else is going downstream.'

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

'After the tone, please leave your name and number.'

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

Clubbing

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'What did I SAY to DAVE?' - A person with hangover worrying about the night before.

"Do we really need the interactive garbage disposer?"

Midwest Winter Items.

Ostrich's head buried into a pile of sand containing a woman

Mo's Meet The Predators Safari Tours.