Age-defying Humorists Gifts

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"I feel like a newborn. No hair, no teeth, no bladder control."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

Gender Reveal

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'I don't know which will come first.. retirement or draft?'

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"I'm sorry, but he only has 75 years to live!"

"I'm starting to look old."

Rodin's Generation Gap

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

'Aaaaaaaaaah forty seven. What a lovely age.'

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

'To absent teeth.'

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"Gosh Grandma, you must be over a million in dog years."