Age-related Humorist Gifts

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Why bother?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'I'd say you're a little late...'

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"I feel like a newborn. No hair, no teeth, no bladder control."

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

'I don't know which will come first.. retirement or draft?'

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

'Face it, Frank - After 40 we all need glasses.'

"I'm sorry, but he only has 75 years to live!"

"He's at that funny age. It takes twice as long to get over a good time, as to have it."

"It's the Florida kid."

"How do you know my wish didn't come true."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"I'm starting to look old."

Rodin's Generation Gap

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

Nancy Pelosi Gets a Speakership By Agreeing to Just Four More Years. How Many Years Does She Have Anyway?

'Aaaaaaaaaah forty seven. What a lovely age.'

Live: Middle Aged Men

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."