Old Age Humorist Gifts

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"I'm not surprised about Methuselah. He was sick for 430 years."

Rip Van Tinkle

"Why bother?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

You can't get what up

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

'You are always living in the past!'

"He's at that funny age. It takes twice as long to get over a good time, as to have it."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"It's the Florida kid."

"How do you know my wish didn't come true."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

Live: Middle Aged Men

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

"Kick me"

Old People Whisperer

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

"at my age I have to wonder if it's indigestion or a heart attack." (two old men discussing aging and medical concerns)

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

"He's angry about getting old."