Old Age Humorists Gifts

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

"Why bother?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

You can't get what up

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'You are always living in the past!'

"It's the Florida kid."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

Old People Whisperer

Old Men on Rockers.

"at my age I have to wonder if it's indigestion or a heart attack." (two old men discussing aging and medical concerns)

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

"He's angry about getting old."

'I wish someone would get busy and invent toothpaste and deodorant!'

"I said, my testicles are cold." "That's because they're in the dog's water bowl again."

Broadwalk Betrayal

Middle Age: When you still believe you'll feel better in the morning!

"The kids have sent us an app that reminds you what you were thinking twenty minutes ago."