Elderly Humor Lovers Gifts

"I've done it, dear. I've finally paid off my student loan!"

"Why bother?"

You can't get what up

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

Birthday To-Do List

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

'You are always living in the past!'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"It's the Florida kid."

'Humans age the same way we do, every year is equal to seven years. I know this because Timmy has had a family birthday party, an extended family birthday party, a friend birthday party...

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

"Kick me"

Old Men on Rockers.

How Fatherhood Affects Belt Height: Father/Grandfather/Great Grandfather.

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'

"The kids have sent us an app that reminds you what you were thinking twenty minutes ago."

Oh, my god, I'm starting to look like my mother.

Broadwalk Betrayal

"I said, my testicles are cold." "That's because they're in the dog's water bowl again."

"I'm not surprised about Methuselah. He was sick for 430 years."

"No, kids, Grandma isn't 'way older' than these trees."

"You're here for piles? Piles of what?"

"Whoa! Now there goes one fine pair of kidneys!"

Beware - Baby Boomers Turning 40.

Fidel Castro at 84: Where the hell is the nearest toilet!?

Rip Van Tinkle

Fourth age club annual outing

'It's sad when the elbows begin to go.'