Elderly Humor Lover Gifts

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

"Why bother?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

You can't get what up

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

Birthday To-Do List

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

'Did someone say something?'

Old man has a walking stick case.

'You are always living in the past!'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

"It's the Florida kid."

"Kick me"

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

Old Men on Rockers.

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

"This is Norman - eighty-seven and never a mid-life crisis in his life."

How Fatherhood Affects Belt Height: Father/Grandfather/Great Grandfather.

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'

"I recently went wireless."

"I said, my testicles are cold." "That's because they're in the dog's water bowl again."

Oh, my god, I'm starting to look like my mother.

'Er...have I just been or am I just going?'

Broadwalk Betrayal

"I'm sitting here going over all my troubles in my mind..."