Elderly Humor Lover Pillows

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

"Why bother?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

You can't get what up

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Birthday To-Do List

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

'Did someone say something?'

Old man has a walking stick case.

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

'You are always living in the past!'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

"It's the Florida kid."

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

"This is Norman - eighty-seven and never a mid-life crisis in his life."

Old Men on Rockers.

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

"Kick me"

"I said, my testicles are cold." "That's because they're in the dog's water bowl again."

'Er...have I just been or am I just going?'

Broadwalk Betrayal

"I'm sitting here going over all my troubles in my mind..."

"The kids have sent us an app that reminds you what you were thinking twenty minutes ago."