Elderly Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

"The kids have sent us an app that reminds you what you were thinking twenty minutes ago."

"Why bother?"

You can't get what up

Birthday To-Do List

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"How's your memory?"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

'You are always living in the past!'

'It's my prostate.'

"It's the Florida kid."

You know you're getting old...when your mobile phone rings and you start taking photographs of your ear.

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

"It's beer flavored prune juice."

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

'A gang of senior citizens was arrested today for harassing freshmen....'

Old Men on Rockers.

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

"Kick me"

Proud to be a senior citizen and Just give me my damn discount T-Shirts.