Elderly Humor Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"The kids have sent us an app that reminds you what you were thinking twenty minutes ago."

"Why bother?"

You can't get what up

Shirley Temple...The later years.. - 'Animal crackers in my poop...'

Birthday To-Do List

James Bond: Senior Years.

Mort, the doctor says you can't get too riled up. It's bad for your heart. Yes, dear. You're not a young man anymore. You're not in tip-top shape. You don't eat well. You're not so muscular. I'm not a fan of your haircut. Nurse!

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

I'll bet with age would come wisdom, if only we would remember a @#%* thing.

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"How's your memory?"

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

'You are always living in the past!'

'It's my prostate.'

Bus. Routes. Time used to be on my side, now it's at my back and pushing.

You know you're getting old...when your mobile phone rings and you start taking photographs of your ear.

'Humans age the same way we do, every year is equal to seven years. I know this because Timmy has had a family birthday party, an extended family birthday party, a friend birthday party...

"It's the Florida kid."

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

"It's beer flavored prune juice."

"Kick me"

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

'A gang of senior citizens was arrested today for harassing freshmen....'

Old Men on Rockers.

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."