Old Age Humorist Pillows

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"I'm not surprised about Methuselah. He was sick for 430 years."

Rip Van Tinkle

"Why bother?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

You can't get what up

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'You are always living in the past!'

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"It's the Florida kid."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

"at my age I have to wonder if it's indigestion or a heart attack." (two old men discussing aging and medical concerns)

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

"Kick me"

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

Live: Middle Aged Men

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

Old People Whisperer

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

"He's angry about getting old."

"You have a beautiful smile. It would look great in a glass of water next to my bed."

"I said, my testicles are cold." "That's because they're in the dog's water bowl again."