Elderly Humorist Pillows

Broadwalk Betrayal

"Why bother?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

'You are always living in the past!'

"Help! I've fallen and my son is a disappointment!"

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Old Darth Vader

'The teachers' range are all designed vertically so they can stand at the front of the class.'

"It's the Florida kid."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

"Harry seldom leaves his retirement cubicle."

"I see Arthur's arthritus is acting up again."

'Your father's been really getting under my feet.'

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

"Happy birthday. They were out of bourbon so I got you those underpants you can pee in."

"Kick me"

"at my age I have to wonder if it's indigestion or a heart attack." (two old men discussing aging and medical concerns)

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.