Age-related Humorist Pillows

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Why bother?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"I feel like a newborn. No hair, no teeth, no bladder control."

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

'I don't know which will come first.. retirement or draft?'

'Face it, Frank - After 40 we all need glasses.'

"I'm sorry, but he only has 75 years to live!"

"It's the Florida kid."

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Rodin's Generation Gap

"I'm starting to look old."

Dad Socks / Dad Sex

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

Live: Middle Aged Men

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"