Anti-aging Humorist Pillows

'Have you ever thought of having yourself digitally restored?'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

'He's disappointed with the Queen's card - he wanted a rude one!'

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"It's the Florida kid."

"I'm starting to look old."

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

Old Darth Vader

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

"Kick me"

Now showing: Retirement Village Vixens, You must be 65.

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.