Senior Jokester Gifts

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

Leaving cards.

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

"Why is there a picture of an old man in the bathroom?"

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

Husband's sudden interest in Aquafit is all because of the sexy instructor.

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

'If Michelangelo Was a Cartoonist.'

Summer Reading

"Attention, shoppers!! We have a senior lost in the produce section!. . ."

"An olive or a twist?"

Senior Chat Rooms.

Politics Books

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'

'So we can fing out what is wrong with you granddad, I've asked him to bring in a couple of stools!'