Senior Jokers Gifts

Hey! I just figured out what I want to do with my life!

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

Toothless Meal

Photobooth Photobomb

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"The good new is I found your dentures. The bad news is the dog has a new chew toy."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

'It's sadly ironic in a way - He can't hear the hearing aid commercials.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"I know I'm getting old when one big fart throws my back out."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere." "How could you tell?" "Cuz the wrinkles are all stretched out of yer face."

Life begins at 60

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

"How's your memory?"

"Why is there a picture of an old man in the bathroom?"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

Husband's sudden interest in Aquafit is all because of the sexy instructor.