Professional Jokers Gifts

"On my right is Mr. Darius, who'll fill you in on our corporate counterculture."

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

Photobooth Photobomb

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"Sorry - I've got to take this..."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Artist Painting his Television.

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

"Yes, but you're a half hour late in dog minutes."

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

Watch for Men Being Supid

"We need someone who's responsible."

"I took your advice."

How to avoid a heart attack.

'Derek knew that someone, somewhere must have designed a car with a shopping basket.'

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

The Gardener's Calendar: If your fish pool is covered with ice...make a hole in it.

"You remind me very much of myself when I was your age, Carter, and there is no way that this company would employ such a person."

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

'I suppose you think you're sitting there imagining me in the nude.'

'No cup holder?'