Professional Joker Gifts

"Any other strengths?"

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'I see by your resume that you are my son. If this checks out, the job is yours.'

I'm worried about our accountant...he's so scruffy!

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

'You know too much,'

Good News about winter

Fish hunting for men.

'How about a game of cards?'

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

Candid Camera store.

'Hole in one!!!!'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Shoes Make The Man

Caution May Contain Nuts.

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

Sharks hate practical jokes.