Sporty Joker Gifts

'The pro told me my score of 392 is a course record!'

Headball!

Tennis player.

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

Football

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Jogging Bottoms

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Santa's Helpers

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

Bicycle Sidecar.

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"I'm making him take a spin class."

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

Very drunk professional cyclist

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

Ants stealing from the picnic.

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

Adult Absence Notes.

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'