Sporty Joker Gifts

'The pro told me my score of 392 is a course record!'

Headball!

Tennis player.

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

Football

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"OK, ready to go again?"

'Hole in one!!!!'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Jogging Bottoms

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

Santa's Helpers

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

Bicycle Sidecar.

"I'm making him take a spin class."

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'How do I know if you've been naughty or nice? CCTV!!'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

Very drunk professional cyclist

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"Yeah. I'm into fitness. Fittin' dis whole sammich in my mouth."

Adult Absence Notes.