Sporting Joker Gifts

'Hole in one!!!!'

Offering a golfer a spade.

'Time Out...Sorry, kid. Gotta make a change.'

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Joust Sharpener

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Jogging Bottoms

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

Bicycle Sidecar.

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

"What did I tell you about practicing on the cat?"

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

Very drunk professional cyclist

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

False encouragement.

'Jim I don't think you have quite go this 'Iron Man Challenge' thing.'

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

Hope and pray it's nothing more than a 'Spectator Sport'!'

'The pro told me my score of 392 is a course record!'

"I'm not finished exercising. I still have a couple of laps to go."

'Team spirit, my ass.'

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

'Please! Take these and let my buddy go!!'

His Other Shtick

Tred carefully mill.