Sports And Sci-fi Joker Gifts

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

Get crazy once in a while

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

Jogging Bottoms

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"See how it feels"

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

Bicycle Sidecar.

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

Very drunk professional cyclist

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Good book?'

'You again? OK, pal... I'm deleting you and this time you're going to stay deleted!' ~ the screen saver of Dorian Gray.

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Toilet humour

Skywriter's Block

False encouragement.