Sports And Sci-fi Joker Gifts

Who's on First

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Get crazy once in a while

'Hole in one!!!!'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Jogging Bottoms

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

"Out, damn'd Spot, out I say! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

Bicycle Sidecar.

"See how it feels"

'The most moving part, for me, is when they explain how to fuse the main pipe to the power hose.'

Very drunk professional cyclist

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

Keats's heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains his sense.

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'Good book?'

Toilet humour

'You again? OK, pal... I'm deleting you and this time you're going to stay deleted!' ~ the screen saver of Dorian Gray.

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Skywriter's Block