Jet-setting Joker Gifts

'Your luggage was accidentally sent to Singapore, sir, and you're being tried in absentia there for smuggling after-shave lotion.'

Left Luggage/Right Luggage

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

Cow Blue Arrows

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

Vampire on a plane

"How's my tripping you up?"

"Is this your husbands first flight?"

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

Man comes through luggage collection conveyor belt at the airport.

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"We want to fly the friendly skies, but only with friendly fellow passengers."

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge'.

"There it is again, that tapping..."

'Does anyone here know how to land a Boeing 747?'

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

'Your excessive weight is a too-heavy carry-on and we must charge accordingly, excessively!'

Galley Christmas

'And one more thing, while you're in Bangkok be careful of the ladies in Patpong district. They may not be all they appear to be.'

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

'When you said this was a three star hotel, I didn't expect to see them through a hole in the roof!'

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

"There! Just like new!"

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

"As you'd expect, the control panel of a modern passenger jet is very complex."

Men should not be afraid to stop and ask for directions.

"Surely it can't be normal for a penguin to suffer from chilblains!"

"I'm fairly sure you're supposed to take them off first."

"I drink coffee for your safety."

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

Golfer going through customs