Jet-setter Humorist Gifts

'Your excessive weight is a too-heavy carry-on and we must charge accordingly, excessively!'

"We want to fly the friendly skies, but only with friendly fellow passengers."

Cow Blue Arrows

'Flight simulator'

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

"How's my tripping you up?"

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"There it is again, that tapping..."

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

"I'm fine. It's just...I miss the confinement."

Unaware of the importance of dryer sheets, the crew of the starship enterprise embarrassingly warp through space with static Klingons.

Galley Christmas

'Wait, what's that on runway one?...Ok I got it, just another one of those budget carriers.'

'Except for that, how did the experimental plane perform?'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

'When you said this was a three star hotel, I didn't expect to see them through a hole in the roof!'

"The first one depicts our sales compared to Snedly Electronics, and the second one depicts the speed of our corporate jet compared to Snedly's."

"This guy's been acting kinda funny."

"There! Just like new!"

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

"As you'd expect, the control panel of a modern passenger jet is very complex."