Jetsetter Humorist Gifts

"The first one depicts our sales compared to Snedly Electronics, and the second one depicts the speed of our corporate jet compared to Snedly's."

'I'm wearing my two carry ons.'

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"Fascinating! Dr. Mort, this proves that the early Flightattenderthal did in fact impale passengers who brought on oversized carry-on luggage!"

"I'm fine. It's just...I miss the confinement."

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Cow Blue Arrows

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

Airport Bored Rooms

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"Hell: The Airport"

"How's my tripping you up?"

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Airline Mergers.

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

'At least we're still in first class.'

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

Bumblebee Flights...Buzz Europe, Buaa USA, Buss the world: 'We just fly willy-nilly all over the dang place!'

"Bev sure takes the last leg literally."

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge