Jetsetter Humorist T-Shirts

"The first one depicts our sales compared to Snedly Electronics, and the second one depicts the speed of our corporate jet compared to Snedly's."

'I'm wearing my two carry ons.'

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"Fascinating! Dr. Mort, this proves that the early Flightattenderthal did in fact impale passengers who brought on oversized carry-on luggage!"

"I'm fine. It's just...I miss the confinement."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Cow Blue Arrows

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

Airport Bored Rooms

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"How's my tripping you up?"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"Hell: The Airport"

Airline Mergers.

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

'At least we're still in first class.'

Bumblebee Flights...Buzz Europe, Buaa USA, Buss the world: 'We just fly willy-nilly all over the dang place!'

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"