Joking Jetsetter T-Shirts

'When you said this was a three star hotel, I didn't expect to see them through a hole in the roof!'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Cow Blue Arrows

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

Airport Bored Rooms

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"How's my tripping you up?"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

Dog on a plane.

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

Airline Mergers.

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

'At least we're still in first class.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

Bumblebee Flights...Buzz Europe, Buaa USA, Buss the world: 'We just fly willy-nilly all over the dang place!'

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"