Jolly Jetsetter T-Shirts

"Whatever you hit Captain it wasn't a bird. The only thing I can see in here is lot s of wrapping paper, broken toys and shattered antlers."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

Airport Bored Rooms

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

Dog on a plane.

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"Hell: The Airport"

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Airline Mergers.

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

'At least we're still in first class.'

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"