Quirky Jetsetter T-Shirts

"This is your captain. Welcome to Flight 112, non-stop service from Detroit to Tampa. For your enjoyment I made us a mix tape, which will begin shortly."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Airport Bored Rooms

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

"Hell: The Airport"

Dog on a plane.

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

Airline Mergers.

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

'At least we're still in first class.'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

Bumblebee Flights...Buzz Europe, Buaa USA, Buss the world: 'We just fly willy-nilly all over the dang place!'

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"