Quirky Jetsetter Gifts

"This is your captain. Welcome to Flight 112, non-stop service from Detroit to Tampa. For your enjoyment I made us a mix tape, which will begin shortly."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

Airport Bored Rooms

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

Dog on a plane.

"Hell: The Airport"

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

Airline Mergers.

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain siiinnngiiinnng."

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'At least we're still in first class.'

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"