Jetsetter's Humor Gifts

"Wanda, you're a month early for your appointment...again."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Cow Blue Arrows

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

A private jet takes off

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

Airport Bored Rooms

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"How's my tripping you up?"

"Hell: The Airport"

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"I know it's only our second date, and stop me if I'm moving too fast, but, would you non-rev with me?"

Italy in Three Days."We're doing Assisi tomorrow. Myra wants to shop red leather jeans."

Airline Mergers.

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'At least we're still in first class.'

'Round-the-world ticket please!' - 'One way?'

Bumblebee Flights...Buzz Europe, Buaa USA, Buss the world: 'We just fly willy-nilly all over the dang place!'

Flight Crew Lockdown Check List

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

"What do you mean, 'Who's el ca-pi-tán to Albuquerque'?"

"Bev sure takes the last leg literally."

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.