Jetsetter Gifts

Airline Mergers.

"Attention passengers...all delayed flights will be delayed."

'We want to see all the sights before climate change makes southern Europe uninhabitable.'

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

Airline concerns.

'You've got to admire their candor.'

'Yes, I can park it...but the gratuity just went up.'

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"You have one billion frequent flyer miles. No wonder you list our airport as your business address."

'I don't need to be fluent in French. I'm fluent in money.'

'What makes you think our gate has changed?'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

'I'd like a first class ticket to wherever my luggage went.'

"And in the event of the service charge taking your breath away, an oxygen mask will drop..."

'Please put your tray table and seat in their upright and locked position... ooh! Didn't say Simon Sez.'

"What am I suppose to do, all my clothes were in that suitcase"

"Nice try, but your friend can't fly as carry-on luggage."

'Hi, I'm a professional airport greeter. That'll be fifty bucks.'

"I'm flexible, I can travel any time up until the 24th December."

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

'Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the latest Airbus!'

'This is your lucky day, sir...today we pay you to fly and throw in a free set of dishes.'

'At least we're still in first class.'

'Babe! It's me! This isn't a layover!'

'...and that concludes the emergency procedures. Since we have a few minutes before take-off, how many of you are familiar with 'Amway'?'

Travel agent: 'In Venice, Euro-rentocar also offers gondolas!'

"Terrible. It's just terrible. He's the third accountant I've hired to calculate my per diem."

'Are you sure you're not wearing anything you bought overseas?'

Bob packed a lot of clout.

"I don't tolerate unruly passengers."

"'We'll put it in the hopper, we'll put it in the hopper.' Do you realize how many things we've got in the hopper already?"

"Let me go get my manager and see if she cares."

"Do you have a seat in business with a view of economy?"

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"