Jet-setting Jokester Gifts

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"

"As you'd expect, the control panel of a modern passenger jet is very complex."

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

Cow Blue Arrows

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

"There it is again, that tapping..."

"There! Just like new!"

Carefree luggage.

'Flight simulator'

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"How's my tripping you up?"

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

Black Hole Corks

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'

"We want to fly the friendly skies, but only with friendly fellow passengers."

"So how does New York stack up against Uzbekistan?"

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

"I'm fine. It's just...I miss the confinement."

'Your excessive weight is a too-heavy carry-on and we must charge accordingly, excessively!'

"Sorry, professor... A black hole sucked in my homework!"

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

The James Webb telescope is going to change everything. How so, cretinous oaf? It's going to let us see much farther into deep space than ever before. And the farther we see, the further back in time we're seeing. Do you understand what this means, Sadie? I don't have all day. Get to the point dweeb! It means we'll see the earliest stars and galaxies there ever were. We may even see all the way back to the Big Bang itself. We'll finally know for certain whether it was you. Busted. That singulari

Galley Christmas

'Wait, what's that on runway one?...Ok I got it, just another one of those budget carriers.'