Jet-set Jokester Gifts

'Attention, Flight 1362...In our customer Lounge we're showing a short film: 'Blooper Reels of Strip Searches' to help pass the time...'

Galley Christmas

Carefree luggage.

Cow Blue Arrows

'Flight simulator'

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"It's cheaper than coach, and he gets more legroom."

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

"How's my tripping you up?"

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

Black Hole Corks

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

"What's wrong with this telescope? I can't see a blasted thing."

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"There it is again, that tapping..."

"We want to fly the friendly skies, but only with friendly fellow passengers."

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

"Sorry, professor... A black hole sucked in my homework!"

'Wait, what's that on runway one?...Ok I got it, just another one of those budget carriers.'

'Your excessive weight is a too-heavy carry-on and we must charge accordingly, excessively!'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

"And here's where we keep our more serious cases of Trip Trading Addiction."

"I'm fine. It's just...I miss the confinement."

The James Webb telescope is going to change everything. How so, cretinous oaf? It's going to let us see much farther into deep space than ever before. And the farther we see, the further back in time we're seeing. Do you understand what this means, Sadie? I don't have all day. Get to the point dweeb! It means we'll see the earliest stars and galaxies there ever were. We may even see all the way back to the Big Bang itself. We'll finally know for certain whether it was you. Busted. That singulari

"Sometimes I think the captain doesn't appreciate the seriousness of military maneuvers."

"With our lives it's all abut the journey. With our luggage, it's definitely about the destination."

Moon Prank

Sydney Airport - passengers called Barry, Sheila and Skippy.

Quit fooling around, Ernie -- I'm not telling mission control you went over to the dark side.

"There! Just like new!"