Musical Jokers Gifts

They put me on hold.

"You'll have to chuck it back- it's Kylie Minnow."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'What do you like about winter? I like these crisp, cold morning walks in the glistening snow.' 'I like how you can keep your extra beer outside.'

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

Photobooth Photobomb

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

Giggle.

'Yup, cannon in D.'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...

Artist Painting his Television.

'That's what I said,dear-your dinner's in the chippie..'

Musical Accidents

"Kayakers Fred! Let's surface next to them and check the look on their faces!"

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

"I'm very highly strung!"

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

To save space, we eliminated hallways and doors, by adding catwalk and ladders.

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

How electric eels "welcome" door-to-door salesmen

'Beware of Dog' sign next to accordion-playing canine.

I'm in a Beatles-inspired band with a few buddies. One guy is a software engineer who wrote a song about a lengthy, convoluted program. It's called the "The Long and Winding Code." The magazine editor wrote a song about checking articles for accuracy. It's titled "Facts Man." And there's a song by the factory foreman about sullen workers tightening nuts all day. It's call "Twist and Pout." You should do a song warning about the wordplay. We have one! The title is "Here Comes the Pun"!

Watch for Men Being Supid

"I've got sea mail."

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

How to avoid a heart attack.