Musical Joker Gifts

'You know, that's a TYPO.'

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...

"You can't take a solo after every serve."

'Yup, cannon in D.'

Sick-String Guitar

Monk with accordion hidden in his robes.

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

'Beware of Dog' sign next to accordion-playing canine.

'I must warn you that bagpipes sound exactly the same when you've finished learning as when you start. . .'

Labelled Church Bells.

"I've got sea mail."

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

Toilet humour

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

Here lies BoBo the Clown

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Adult Absence Notes.

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"I'm going to need even less tuba."

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"