Music Joker Gifts

I'm in a Beatles-inspired band with a few buddies. One guy is a software engineer who wrote a song about a lengthy, convoluted program. It's called the "The Long and Winding Code." The magazine editor wrote a song about checking articles for accuracy. It's titled "Facts Man." And there's a song by the factory foreman about sullen workers tightening nuts all day. It's call "Twist and Pout." You should do a song warning about the wordplay. We have one! The title is "Here Comes the Pun"!

'Those tiny speakers in mobile phones that play music...Brilliant.'

Tuba's large note knocks out musician.

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'Yup, cannon in D.'

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

"He claims to be self aware but he clearly can't read a room."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Toilet humour

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

No infrastructure problem here

'Two, four, six, eight Who do we appreciate ,,,'

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

'Lion!'

The Cartoonists

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

'A room with double beds, please.'