Nightlife Joker Gifts

Biblical man standing in front of a bar called "Canaan-nights"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

'When she walks in she lights up the room...' 'It's living next to the nuclear plant.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

Sunshine and exercise. Are you glad I suggested we go for a walk?

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'Yup, cannon in D.'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

Adult Absence Notes.

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Wordplay: Mandate - Escort Agency.

Burlyesque

Toilet humour

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...