Nightlife Joker Prints

Biblical man standing in front of a bar called "Canaan-nights"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

'When she walks in she lights up the room...' 'It's living next to the nuclear plant.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

Sunshine and exercise. Are you glad I suggested we go for a walk?

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"I'll give you a big wet kiss.. "

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'Yup, cannon in D.'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

Burlyesque

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Adult Absence Notes.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Wordplay: Mandate - Escort Agency.

Toilet humour

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...