Jazz Jokers Gifts

Musical Accidents

"Yeah, I don't like this part either."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

Photobooth Photobomb

'His 5 hour energy drink timed out. If only he had taken it 3 seconds later.'

Giggle.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"You were ho-ho-hoing in your sleep again!"

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

"At least you made it into the hallway."

Minnesota Weather.

"But he's way more fun than the rubber ducky."

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

Prosecutor's Office. The judge threw out the confession --- He said it was coerced. You violated the duress code!

Santa entering a pool for a swim

Santa School.

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

'Don't worry, fifty something is the new thirty something.'

'You say you saw my client do it. OK, but what if the jury doesn't believe you? Try to think outside the witness box.'

Born Cynical,,,,

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

Pinata Pranks

The Jury Decides.

"On my right is Mr. Darius, who'll fill you in on our corporate counterculture."

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

"It was 'im wot ruffled me bonce, judge, as I was politely getting into 'is car."

Winter. I'm starting to think it's not coming at all.

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

'As to my clients guilt... let me be perfectly vague.'

Looking for a cool cat.